Perez Hilton. Alive.
The world is a dark, cruel and evil place sometimes.
The day is June 25th, 2009.
Two big name celebrities- a sex icon and a the king of pop- died on this day.
R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett - Thanks for Charlies Angels, Jiggle TV and most importantly, "The Poster"(which has grown more hairy palms than any picture or poster in the world). Ill pass that poster down to every future generation to come (I had to respell that last word).
R.I.P. Michael Jackson - Thanks for the Moonwalk and Thriller. You can keep the rest with you in Heaven where there are plenty of children and hotel room balcony's for everyone. Heaven is a place where everybody has a perfect nose.
On a serious note, go buy stock in big name poster companies. That Farrah Fawcett poster will sell a bunch in the coming week.
-Toph
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
FML Book
Fmylife.com has published the FML book.
Why wouldn't I want to drive to a bookstore and spend $10 on something that I can get for free without leaving the house?
Fail.
Why wouldn't I want to drive to a bookstore and spend $10 on something that I can get for free without leaving the house?
Fail.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Summer is Here
So time to catch up. I went through my phone and uploaded some of the newest finds in my travels. Let's get you up to speed.
First off, I worked at the SJES Cardinella event back in March at the Disneyland Hotel. I went to the bathroom and this was how it looked from the inside.
The outside gives the appearance of having a completely private stall. Not the case. Disney got a big room, put in stalls and then added individual doors on the outside. GG Disney.
The other cool thing was an item that was up for bid.
Signed ball by Reggie Wayne of the Indianapolis Colts. It was cheap too. But they wouldn't let me bid on it. Lame.
School recently wrapped up and summer is here. Here are a few things that happened at the end of the semester that are hilarious.
First off, food during finals time is great. You should always start your day off with a good breakfast.
For lunch, have Mexican food.
Huge Burrito. Nom nom nom.
Have a salad for dinner. But not just a salad. A salad of EPIC proportions.
If you are a college student at a Cal State school, then you are familiar with the end of semester teacher evaluations. In my field video production class, I was asked to lead the evaluations and turn them in for the teacher. This is my evaluation. I worked hard on it.
A few weeks before the end of the semester I started spreading this joke. I would write on my ankle that "This is where girls get impulsive tattoos" and I would draw a heart. In fact, take a look for yourself.
I probably wrote this on my ankle for a week and showed countless friends. Of course I got some laughs, but I was the one who got the ultimate chuckle when I showed my friend (and stalker) Stephanie. She responded by showing me her ankle.
Pwned.
I also started a new job at the Coto de Caza Country Club waiting tables and hopefully transitioning into a bar tending role. I have seen some cool people in my short time there. I saw one of the housewives from The Real Housewives of Orange County, Ronald McDonald (CEO of McDonald's) and most exciting, Teemu Selanne from the Anaheim Ducks. I tried to snap a photo of him but it came out blurry.
Blue shirt, white pants. Blurry, but I swear its him.
Also, I discovered the funniest shredder. Check this thing out.
If I can't use this to shred my ties, paperclips, hands and female heads...where am I going to fill all those shredding needs?!?
By the way, this is the shittiest way to wake up. This is happening on my driveway. Before 8 a.m. FML.
Lastly, this is my dog. She is depressed. Can you tell?
Well I was going to save a lot of this material and fill up a few blog posts but I decided to unload and catch up on life. More to come soon. Also I am going to begin a new blog for reviews. Lets see how that madness goes.
First off, I worked at the SJES Cardinella event back in March at the Disneyland Hotel. I went to the bathroom and this was how it looked from the inside.
The outside gives the appearance of having a completely private stall. Not the case. Disney got a big room, put in stalls and then added individual doors on the outside. GG Disney.
The other cool thing was an item that was up for bid.
Signed ball by Reggie Wayne of the Indianapolis Colts. It was cheap too. But they wouldn't let me bid on it. Lame.
School recently wrapped up and summer is here. Here are a few things that happened at the end of the semester that are hilarious.
First off, food during finals time is great. You should always start your day off with a good breakfast.
For lunch, have Mexican food.
Huge Burrito. Nom nom nom.
Have a salad for dinner. But not just a salad. A salad of EPIC proportions.
If you are a college student at a Cal State school, then you are familiar with the end of semester teacher evaluations. In my field video production class, I was asked to lead the evaluations and turn them in for the teacher. This is my evaluation. I worked hard on it.
A few weeks before the end of the semester I started spreading this joke. I would write on my ankle that "This is where girls get impulsive tattoos" and I would draw a heart. In fact, take a look for yourself.
I probably wrote this on my ankle for a week and showed countless friends. Of course I got some laughs, but I was the one who got the ultimate chuckle when I showed my friend (and stalker) Stephanie. She responded by showing me her ankle.
Pwned.
I also started a new job at the Coto de Caza Country Club waiting tables and hopefully transitioning into a bar tending role. I have seen some cool people in my short time there. I saw one of the housewives from The Real Housewives of Orange County, Ronald McDonald (CEO of McDonald's) and most exciting, Teemu Selanne from the Anaheim Ducks. I tried to snap a photo of him but it came out blurry.
Blue shirt, white pants. Blurry, but I swear its him.
Also, I discovered the funniest shredder. Check this thing out.
If I can't use this to shred my ties, paperclips, hands and female heads...where am I going to fill all those shredding needs?!?
By the way, this is the shittiest way to wake up. This is happening on my driveway. Before 8 a.m. FML.
Lastly, this is my dog. She is depressed. Can you tell?
Well I was going to save a lot of this material and fill up a few blog posts but I decided to unload and catch up on life. More to come soon. Also I am going to begin a new blog for reviews. Lets see how that madness goes.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Target = Fail
I went to Target the other day and pulled into a parking space. I looked at my surroundings. At this moment, I decided that dumb people shop at Target. Or that Target is a stupid place. This is why.
This was parked in the space to my right. An office chair. That makes sense.
Then this guy was parked to my left. Nice paint job and rims on this piece of shit car. What a pimp.
And my favorite was parked right in front of me. This new age hippie (and I say that in the nicest way possible) had her "OM" sticker upside down. For those of you who don't know what this sticker is, it is the symbol that is supposed to represent the "Sound of the Universe". People who meditate and Yogi's are very into this sound and symbol. You are so trendy and enlightened with your Meditative symbol that is upside down. Moron.
Target has never let me down when it comes to stupid people.
This was parked in the space to my right. An office chair. That makes sense.
Then this guy was parked to my left. Nice paint job and rims on this piece of shit car. What a pimp.
And my favorite was parked right in front of me. This new age hippie (and I say that in the nicest way possible) had her "OM" sticker upside down. For those of you who don't know what this sticker is, it is the symbol that is supposed to represent the "Sound of the Universe". People who meditate and Yogi's are very into this sound and symbol. You are so trendy and enlightened with your Meditative symbol that is upside down. Moron.
Target has never let me down when it comes to stupid people.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
New Podcast, Hennessey's and other Madness
So I dropped by the Swindletone Podcast last week. We covered some news and did "Handfuls", "Little Slice of Heaven" and a new segment called "Zen and the Art of Blank".
Check out Swindletone and Podcast 8 (also I debuted on #6) at Swindletone. If you twitter, follow Greg at @Swindletone.
Speaking of Twitter, I recently dipped my toe in that pond, stalk (or follow) my ass at @TophTalk.
The website is still under construction. It will most likely get up on its feet late in May. The Blog will get moved there.
Also, in a weird coincidence, I ended up at Hennessey's twice last week. Tuesday for a little meeting of the minds with DJ Ron and the upcoming joining of our Bartending/DJ services for the wedding scene this summer. Friday was packed but I met up with Brad Shecter (www.bradschecter.com) who is an actor and stand up comedian. We talked comedy and about our acts for an hour. Expect something soon in the stand up style. Based on those nights, Hennessey's is way more fun on a Tuesday night than on a Friday.
In other news, Mr. Matthew Kelly, programming extraordinaire is wrapping up his latest iPhone game, "Drop". The game is going to sweep through the App Store and I have been asked to help compose the music and record the SFX for the game. I am honored. I'll let you all know when the game drops (pun fully intended) so you can grab it.
Upcoming projects: CSUF Improv Documentary, Pilot: "Smoke Break", "Drop" Music/SFX, www.tophtalk.com.
I also got a text from John Lam last night who was sharing the love for the "Little Slice of Heaven" bit. He brought up our drinking show idea and it is on like Donkey Kong. Greg Johnson, John Lam, and Me with a bottle of Whiskey and three microphones. Only good things (or repressed memories of abuse from a trusted religious official) can come of this.
In other radio news, considering my SJES contract was not renewed for the summer, I will have a few extra hours that I did not plan on. DJ Ron and I decided that it is time to make my triumphant return back to OCRockRadio. I am thinking of pitching a rocktalk show, if not I will be back to spinning all the rock that gets your socks off.
Check out this sick omelet (or om nom nomelet) I made for breakfast today. Best way to cure a hangover or a broken heart. Or hunger.
Check out Swindletone and Podcast 8 (also I debuted on #6) at Swindletone. If you twitter, follow Greg at @Swindletone.
Speaking of Twitter, I recently dipped my toe in that pond, stalk (or follow) my ass at @TophTalk.
The website is still under construction. It will most likely get up on its feet late in May. The Blog will get moved there.
Also, in a weird coincidence, I ended up at Hennessey's twice last week. Tuesday for a little meeting of the minds with DJ Ron and the upcoming joining of our Bartending/DJ services for the wedding scene this summer. Friday was packed but I met up with Brad Shecter (www.bradschecter.com) who is an actor and stand up comedian. We talked comedy and about our acts for an hour. Expect something soon in the stand up style. Based on those nights, Hennessey's is way more fun on a Tuesday night than on a Friday.
In other news, Mr. Matthew Kelly, programming extraordinaire is wrapping up his latest iPhone game, "Drop". The game is going to sweep through the App Store and I have been asked to help compose the music and record the SFX for the game. I am honored. I'll let you all know when the game drops (pun fully intended) so you can grab it.
Upcoming projects: CSUF Improv Documentary, Pilot: "Smoke Break", "Drop" Music/SFX, www.tophtalk.com.
I also got a text from John Lam last night who was sharing the love for the "Little Slice of Heaven" bit. He brought up our drinking show idea and it is on like Donkey Kong. Greg Johnson, John Lam, and Me with a bottle of Whiskey and three microphones. Only good things (or repressed memories of abuse from a trusted religious official) can come of this.
In other radio news, considering my SJES contract was not renewed for the summer, I will have a few extra hours that I did not plan on. DJ Ron and I decided that it is time to make my triumphant return back to OCRockRadio. I am thinking of pitching a rocktalk show, if not I will be back to spinning all the rock that gets your socks off.
Check out this sick omelet (or om nom nomelet) I made for breakfast today. Best way to cure a hangover or a broken heart. Or hunger.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Swindletone Podcast #8
So I dropped by the Swindletone Podcast again for another meeting of the minds. We riffed on air for awhile and covered Handfuls, Little Slice of Heaven and a new bit called "Zen and the Art of Blank".
Check it out at www.swindletone.blogspot.com!
The blog will be picking up soon. I am laying out some time this summer to crank out some more blog posts that are worth reading and finishing up the website. Stay tuned for more.
I have also recently dipped my toe in the pond that is "Twitter". You can find me @TophTalk. Follow my shit!
Love. Peace. Chicken Grease.
-Toph
Check it out at www.swindletone.blogspot.com!
The blog will be picking up soon. I am laying out some time this summer to crank out some more blog posts that are worth reading and finishing up the website. Stay tuned for more.
I have also recently dipped my toe in the pond that is "Twitter". You can find me @TophTalk. Follow my shit!
Love. Peace. Chicken Grease.
-Toph
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Check out the Swindletone Podcast #6
Last weekend I was invited to guest host the Swindletone Podcast with my buddy Greg. It was quite a show and is packed full of laughs. Check out the blog at http://swindletone.blogspot.com/ and download the podcast on iTunes by typing in "Swindletone" into the search engine.
We went out for a drink afterwards and the bartender had a quite a heavy pouring hand. There is a picture on the blog of me. This is the definition of "Done Son".
We went out for a drink afterwards and the bartender had a quite a heavy pouring hand. There is a picture on the blog of me. This is the definition of "Done Son".
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